Ah Beng - NEW STUFF

Ah Beng  - NEW STUFF
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Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

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Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

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Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

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Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

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Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

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Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

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Ah Beng  comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'

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How do you recognize Ah Beng  in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

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Once  Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====

 

Ah Beng  in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

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Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng  - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

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Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

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Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====

A man asked Ah Beng  why  Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not
in the morning  Ah Beng replied  Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

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Windows Live: Make it easier for your friends to see what you're up to on Facebook.

Contoh-contoh surat permohonan cepat dapat perkerjaan

Resimay


To hoom it mei kansern,

I waunt to aply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..

I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,
Pepole really seam to respond
to me well. Certain women and all the menn.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can diskas wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am wort,

I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopfuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

lotty

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

Employer's response:

Dear Lotty ,

It's OK honey, we've got spell checker.

See you Monday...

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Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online.

WANITA JELITA VS WANITA JELIK

WANITA JELITA VS WANITA JELIK

kalau si jelita buat jahat... lelaki akan kata: Mesti ada krisis dalaman. kesiannya!
kalau si jelik buat jahat... lelaki akan kata: Dahlah muka tak lawa, perangai pun sama gak!

kalau si jelita pendiam... lelaki akan kata: Wow!.inilah ciri² isteri idaman. Pendiam tu pemalu maknanya. kalau si jelik pendiam... lelaki akan kata: Tak reti nak komunikasi langsung, mcm sombong pun ada!

kalau si jelita menolong seorang lelaki... lelaki akan kata: Ini la Heroin sejati!
kalau si jelik menolong s'seorang lelaki... lelaki akan kata: Ala...taktik nak m'gorat la tu!!

kalau si jelita dapat lelaki kacak sebagai kekasih... lelaki akan kata: Oklah tu...bagaikan pinang dibelah dua...
kalau si jelik b'temankan lelaki yg kacak... lelaki akan kata: Tak padan langsung! Kena bomoh agaknya?

kalau si jelita ditinggalkan kekasih... lelaki akan kata: Buta ke mamat tu? dapat awek cun pun lepaskan..meh lah kasi aku!
kalau si jelik ditinggalkan kekasih... lelaki akan kata: Patutlah kena reject, tak menepati piawaian langsung!

kalau si jelita enggan b'gambar... lelaki akan kata: Pasti takut gambar²nya t'sebar...
kalau si jelik enggan b'gambar... lelaki akan kata: Sedar pun diri...

kalau si jelita main² missed call... lelaki akan kata: tak apa, dia suka b'gurau...
kalau si jelik main² missed call... lelaki akan kata: Kau ni tak de kerja lain ke? sibuk ni tau!

kalau si jelita hantar² e-mail.. lelaki akan kata: Sukanya...
kalau si jelik hantar² e-mail.. lelaki akan kata: Balik² email dia..Boring!!!

So yang mana pilihan Awda ? Pilih lah dgn bijak hehe

BLUE Trigger